Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
