grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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