we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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