I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
