I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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