Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
