terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
