She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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