we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
