She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
