At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize