I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
