hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
