Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
