There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
