He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
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I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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