A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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