you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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