Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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