If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
