Who did Billy Mays play for?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
