Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
