is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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