Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
