let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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