Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have already put on my inside pants.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
