It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
