dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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