He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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