Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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