I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
