you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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