He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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