What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
her vagine was all disorganized.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
