Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
