Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
