I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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