awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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