is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
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Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
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That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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