Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
