I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
