They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
