rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
