I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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