this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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