I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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