I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
