she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
