ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
