I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
