Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
