do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
