You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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