I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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