How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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