I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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