wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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