tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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