he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
