it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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