never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
